Wolf

. . . and he is strange to me, strange, he who is all wolf and eats
into my body from underneath, he shoves his snout into all
my orifices and licks, licks, it is strange, so strange, I want to
hide away, shrink into myself, escape into my head, be away,
be off . . . I am afraid to feel this, afraid of my body, afraid to
feel his body. He eats into me more, his mouth a maw, his
teeth so sharp, devouring me, he is devouring me like a soft,
juicy meal, tearing me open, pushing between my legs with
his tongue, nose, jaw, pelt, paws, pestle . . . he rams it deep, in
to the root, over and over and over again, into this body no
longer mine, a pure violence I permit, I allow, I do not defend
myself but I will not be washed away . . . I am soft and pliant,
he tosses me like a rag doll, I think to myself that this is how
it is, he is a man, I am a woman, this is how it should be, this
is how it happens, he makes me thinner and thinner, only a
thin membrane left, thin skin, thin . . . and then paradise flowers
in my head, heaven in my body, heaven, no, not the heaven of
the body . . . and still he is deep in me, shoving me, tearing me,
pushing deep into me, searching, searching . . . but I am replete,
full and fulfilled, bright and calm, so full to the brim that I do
not care what it is with me now, I would not care if there was
blood running, I am beyond all pain and pleasure and I know,
I know that everything is going to be all right, I cannot trust
this wolf but everything is going to be all right, the power that
is in me now is stronger than he is, this power that is changing
him, healing him, healing me, healing the wound . . .

Volk

Volk

in mi je tuj, tuj, ta, ki je volk in se zažre v moje telo od
spodaj, svoj smrček vtakne v vse luknje in liže, čudno je,
čudno, skrivam se, skrčim v svojem telesu, pobegnem v
svojo glavo, stran, proč, bojim se to čutit, bojim se čutit svoje
telo, bojim se čutit njegovo telo, in on se še bolj zagrize,
njegov smrček je gobec, ostre zobe ima in me je, je me kot
mehko, sočno jed, trga, se rine noter med mojima nogama,
z jezikom, nosom, brado, šapami, dlakami, s tolkačem, kadar
se zmore odtrgat od sladke jedi in ga zabije do korena,
še in še in spet, v to telo, ki ni več moje, čisto nasilje, ki ga
dopuščam, ne branim se, a se tudi ne pustim odplaknit, mehka
sem, premika me kot lutko, pomislim, tako je to, on je moški
in jaz sem ženska, tako je prav, tako gre to, tanjša me in
tanjša, samo še tanka opna, tanka kožica me loči od, in
potem se odpre raj v moji glavi, raj v telesu, raj,
ne, ni tisti od telesa; še zmeraj se potaplja vame,
me suva, trga, se rine noter, išče, išče, v meni pa je
polno, dopolnjeno, jasna sem in mirna, tako polna čiste
tekočine, da mi je vseeno, kaj je z menoj, vseeno, če bi
tekla kri, ne čutim ne bolečine ne užitka, a hkrati vem, da
bo vse v redu, volku ne zaupam, ampak vse bo v redu, ta
sila, ki je v meni, je močnejša od njega, ga spreminja,
njega celi, mene celi, celi  rano.