09. Now I know I was born out of the belly

Now I know I was born out of the belly of that horse and not out of my mother’s stretch-mark-ridden belly. That was just a way of pulling the wool over my eyes, yet everyone appeared to go along with it. I was born out in the wide plain on a bitter-cold day . . . And I do know I’m never going to escape that belly. It hasn’t vanished, nor has it gone rotten. My grandfather’s body, crammed in there, has given it life, set it free. And just as it’s come back for Granddad, it’s going to come back for me, gaping ravenously, and it will drape me in its pink and pitch-black folds. It’s going to suck in the air from all around me leaving me breathless.

09. Now I know I was born out of the belly

Nu weet ik dat ik uit de buik van het paard ben geboren, en niet uit moeders schoot vol striemen, het was niet meer dan bedriegerij dat iedereen niettemin voor gangbare munt aannam. Ik ben geboren op de weidse vlakten, op een bitter koude dag. Verder weet ik ook dat ik nooit aan die buik zal ontsnappen, dat ze nooit was verdwenen of verrot. Mijn opa’s lichaam dat erin gepropt lag, bracht de buik tot leven en heeft hem bevrijd. En zoals hij mijn opa is komen halen, zal hij ook om mij komen, zich gulzig opensperren en me bedekken met zijn roze en zwarte plooien. Hij zal alle lucht om me heen wegzuigen en me ademloos achterlaten.

Acum ştiu, eu m-am născut din burta calului şi nu din pîntecul plin de vergeturi al mamei, asta era numai o păcăleală, pe care toţi o luau însă de bună. Eu m-am născut pe cîmpia întinsă, într-o zi cumplit de geroasă. Şi mai ştiu că niciodată nu voi scăpa de burta aceea, că ea nu dispăruse, nici nu putrezise. Trupul bunicului meu, înghesuit acolo, îi dăduse viaţă, o eliberase. Şi aşa cum a venit după bunicul, va veni şi după mine, se va căsca hulpavă şi mă va acoperi cu pliurile ei roz şi negre. Va sorbi aerul din jurul meu, lăsîndu-mă fără suflare.