Poem

Zhai Yongming

Side by side

Midnight’s Judgement

we need our worries     to see ghosts
in order to see repeatedly the white human outlines
vanish like mirages at midnight
otherwise, such a commonplace sound
fills the room     blowing things repeatedly around
for one person alone to hear      vast without limit
in the brain     recollection crawls over the crown of the head
spinning its web over things eye-witnessed

each night I feel frightened
faint footsteps in dream
walk unheard of on the stairs
repeatedly in motion     for one person alone to suffer
medicine swallowed before sleep
will cut me off from daytime
the tender, considerate lover at my side goes off to sleep
happy, at ease     oblivious of the fact that my night spirit
lies outside his cuckoo cloud land

we need our worries     to be afraid
in order to discover our checkmates
on day’s headstone
otherwise, the letters of the dead
would not repeatedly score direct hits on my heart
and repeatedly give warning of     the vigorous arrival
of this fundamental invisible
what it excels in:     making its majesty
felt from inside the feelings

each night I wake     eyes shut tight
human forms with clouded faces appear repeatedly
the enclosing walls and that wall overhead
coming together in error
continually the head drops from the shoulders of my companion
crying and weeping in panic on my behalf
my next life becoming a burden in his dreams
strange spaces float in the dark
adding weight to my familiar taste

we need our worries     to die
in order not to recognize the face of the world even to this day
otherwise our ancestors would repeatedly question us
about that miserable     all-concentrating fate
the death of one encompasses the history of everyone
a dream encompasses every possible method of dying

each night I dream     at two in the morning
the winding moon wraps me tightly
in its huge tongue     so that I cannot get going
I have seen the snake’s face     human faces
the intact body of the goat
the trace of the crawling spider
no happiness in any of them!
and I know     all that from dream
to gentle, considerate hands
will cut me off from night

MIDNIGHT'S JUDGEMENT

Zhai Yongming

(China, 1955)

Turn out all the lights and close all the curtains! Although her name means “eternal light”, Zhai Yongming is primarily a poet of inner psychological darkness and the best way to read her is in utter gloom. At the heart of Zhai Yongming’s poetry is a certain idea of femininity. In a statement made in 1986, Zhai declared that she wished to be a poet rather than a poetess, but that in her life sh...