From Note D, 1926

WRITTEN IN BED (NO TITLES)

***
Unaccountably lonely in autumn.

***
I’d like to see God in my dreams.

***
On some days looking at the autumn sky I feel peace of mind.

***
If I don’t kill myself it is because I believe in Christ.


A DOVE

A dove’s voice at the window . . .
I hear it most joyfully when my temperature is low.


SOLILOQUY IN BED

***
They flow naturally.
What should I do with these tears?

***
I’d like to spread zealously the name of Jesus Christ
who was crucified to save us.

***
I’d like to recover soon
and spread the names of God and Jesus.

***
There are nights when I fall asleep
to the sound of the waves meshing with my thoughts.
There are times when I can’t sleep at all.

***
Tomiko,
I don’t mean that.
I mean that if I must die anyway
then please let me die with a beautiful heart.

***
Tomiko,
when we knew happiness together,
those times when I was to blame for things,
I can now see very clearly.

***
Seen through the window, the sky and flowing clouds—
I turn away from their excessive seriousness.

***
Tomiko,
I can’t stand being in bed alone.

***
O Heavenly Father,
please save this feeble body and soul
and let me work on behalf of the light of God and Christ.

***
Oh,
what can I do?

***
Days of Purgatory.
Days of Purgatory.

***
Tomiko,
when not calling God’s name
I’m calling yours.

***
Clouds float by in the sky
and
are looking at me abed.

***
I will be together with the heart of God.

***
Momoko and Yooji,
it’s painful that I can’t see you.
I’m happiest at having been your father
and not anyone else’s.

***
Ah, how wonderful the sound of those waves.
I’d love to go to the beach.

***
Tomiko,
I am ill
and thinking of you as my mother.

From Note D, 1926