Poem
Andrew McMillan
screen
screen
screen
at the beginning I asked youto let me watch you watching porn I think
I needed to see you existing
entirely without me your face lost
in concentration on another’s
rhythm to know if we could work I knew
that you would end up loving me too
much I thought you needed other idols
months later I saw him the actor
from that film we watched unmissable
petals of the neck tattoo he seemed
to look at me as though he knew I’d seen
him naked his body a deep well
of things I would not ask a living soul
to do I wanted to shout stranger I
have seen your skin and you are beautiful
he was standing at the train station
more vulnerable than I remembered
much smaller too I imagined him
heavy with the hope of other men
taking someone home the look on his face
when he realised how timid
he was without direction how
ordinary the unlit curves
of his shoulders were I imagined him
stopping mid kiss pulling back mumbling
this just isn’t going how I wanted
this just isn’t going to work
© 2015, Andrew McMillan
From: physical
Publisher: Jonathan Cape, London
From: physical
Publisher: Jonathan Cape, London
Andrew McMillan
(United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, 1988)
Andrew McMillan is one of a brilliant generation of young British poets in their twenties, and also one of a growing number of British LGBT poets. His work has been called “electrifyingly fresh and lyrical” (David Morley) and “a glorious, vivid exploration of the body” (Michael Symmons Roberts). His first collection, Physical, was Poetry Book Society Recommendation for Autumn 2015, was shortlis...
Poems
Poems of Andrew McMillan
Close
screen
at the beginning I asked youto let me watch you watching porn I think
I needed to see you existing
entirely without me your face lost
in concentration on another’s
rhythm to know if we could work I knew
that you would end up loving me too
much I thought you needed other idols
months later I saw him the actor
from that film we watched unmissable
petals of the neck tattoo he seemed
to look at me as though he knew I’d seen
him naked his body a deep well
of things I would not ask a living soul
to do I wanted to shout stranger I
have seen your skin and you are beautiful
he was standing at the train station
more vulnerable than I remembered
much smaller too I imagined him
heavy with the hope of other men
taking someone home the look on his face
when he realised how timid
he was without direction how
ordinary the unlit curves
of his shoulders were I imagined him
stopping mid kiss pulling back mumbling
this just isn’t going how I wanted
this just isn’t going to work
From: physical
screen
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