Poetry International Poetry International
Poem

Mustafa Stitou

On my back I carried the coffin

      On my back I carried the coffin in which my father lay. Bent low by its weight, I staggered forward step by step. My pace slowed, the burden was too great. It was beyond me. Carefully I lowered myself full-length to the ground, slid out from under the coffin, raised the lid without hesitating and whispered, Father, I can’t carry you. I’m sorry. Could you maybe walk a little?
      It took him a while to open his eyes. His face was unshaven, his hair tousled. He was wearing long johns and a white vest. Then he sighed and shook his head, mocking and pitying at once, like always. He sat up, climbed out of the coffin and moved on with calm steps. I walked along behind him and I too said nothing.
      The coffin remained where it was, in the middle of the path.
      We reached the grave, which was already dug. Without a word he settled down: lying on his side, then turning over to lie on the other side.
      His god wants him to face east, I thought, towards Mecca. Fortunately he didn’t ask me which way east was, because I didn’t know.
      He folded his hands together, slid them under his head as a pillow, sighed deeply again and closed his eyes, and I, I fell to my knees and began, with furious sweeps of my arms, to fill the grave.

Op mijn rug torste ik de doodskist

      Op mijn rug torste ik de doodskist waarin mijn vader lag. Diep voorovergebogen, voetje voor voetje, schreed ik wankelend voort. Het ging steeds moeizamer, de last werd te groot, ik hield het niet meer. Voorzichtig liet ik mij neerzakken op de grond, languit, schoof onder de kist vandaan, lichtte het deksel op en fluisterde zonder aarzeling Vader, ik kan je niet dragen, het spijt me, kun je misschien een eindje meelopen?
      Het duurde even voor hij zijn ogen opende. Zijn gezicht was ongeschoren, zijn haar zat verward. Hij droeg een lange witte onderbroek en een wit hemd. Toen zuchtte hij en schudde zijn hoofd, spottend-medelijdend, zoals altijd. Hij richtte zich op, stapte uit de kist, bewoog zich voort met kalme tred. Ik liep achter hem aan, ook ik zei niets.
      De kist bleef achter, midden op het pad.
      We kwamen aan bij het graf. Het was al gedolven. Zonder een woord vlijde hij zich neer. Ging liggen op zijn zij, draaide zich toen op zijn andere zij.
      Hij moet van zijn god met zijn gezicht naar het oosten liggen, dacht ik, richting Mekka. Gelukkig vraagt hij me niet waar het oosten is, want ik weet het niet.
      Hij vouwde zijn handen op elkaar, schoof ze als een kussen onder zijn hoofd, zuchtte weer diep en sloot zijn ogen en ik, ik zakte door mijn knieën, en met woeste armbewegingen dichtte ik het graf.
Close

On my back I carried the coffin

      On my back I carried the coffin in which my father lay. Bent low by its weight, I staggered forward step by step. My pace slowed, the burden was too great. It was beyond me. Carefully I lowered myself full-length to the ground, slid out from under the coffin, raised the lid without hesitating and whispered, Father, I can’t carry you. I’m sorry. Could you maybe walk a little?
      It took him a while to open his eyes. His face was unshaven, his hair tousled. He was wearing long johns and a white vest. Then he sighed and shook his head, mocking and pitying at once, like always. He sat up, climbed out of the coffin and moved on with calm steps. I walked along behind him and I too said nothing.
      The coffin remained where it was, in the middle of the path.
      We reached the grave, which was already dug. Without a word he settled down: lying on his side, then turning over to lie on the other side.
      His god wants him to face east, I thought, towards Mecca. Fortunately he didn’t ask me which way east was, because I didn’t know.
      He folded his hands together, slid them under his head as a pillow, sighed deeply again and closed his eyes, and I, I fell to my knees and began, with furious sweeps of my arms, to fill the grave.

On my back I carried the coffin

      On my back I carried the coffin in which my father lay. Bent low by its weight, I staggered forward step by step. My pace slowed, the burden was too great. It was beyond me. Carefully I lowered myself full-length to the ground, slid out from under the coffin, raised the lid without hesitating and whispered, Father, I can’t carry you. I’m sorry. Could you maybe walk a little?
      It took him a while to open his eyes. His face was unshaven, his hair tousled. He was wearing long johns and a white vest. Then he sighed and shook his head, mocking and pitying at once, like always. He sat up, climbed out of the coffin and moved on with calm steps. I walked along behind him and I too said nothing.
      The coffin remained where it was, in the middle of the path.
      We reached the grave, which was already dug. Without a word he settled down: lying on his side, then turning over to lie on the other side.
      His god wants him to face east, I thought, towards Mecca. Fortunately he didn’t ask me which way east was, because I didn’t know.
      He folded his hands together, slid them under his head as a pillow, sighed deeply again and closed his eyes, and I, I fell to my knees and began, with furious sweeps of my arms, to fill the grave.
Sponsors
Gemeente Rotterdam
Nederlands Letterenfonds
Stichting Van Beuningen Peterich-fonds
Prins Bernhard cultuurfonds
Lira fonds
Versopolis
J.E. Jurriaanse
Gefinancierd door de Europese Unie
Elise Mathilde Fonds
Stichting Verzameling van Wijngaarden-Boot
Veerhuis
VDM
Partners
LantarenVenster – Verhalenhuis Belvédère