Poem
Nano Shabtai
GOLDBERG VARIATIONS
BACKGROUND FOR A PORTRAIT OF MY FATHER
Not quiet, jumpy, not proud a little embarrassed – my father
without tears, smiling, charming and evasive,
always asks about my nerves.
A little surprised, annoyed, when I called
one night and said such and such . . .
consoling me a little only with words because once
you were my father
but I’m still me.
More or less remembering
my childhood puzzle unsolved:
now I come, a grown daughter
bearing my fake joy.
Yes, I’m exhausted and ask how you are.
Sometimes inside my nights with my Arab lover . . .
but mostly I cry when I’m alone
and I won’t whisper “Oh Dad!” to myself
nights when I’m drunk I’ll stare at a toe
proof that it’s real
(we have
the same feet
father and me)
Today I’m tired.
I lie in bed.
I’m reading a poem by Lea Goldberg.
And you?
Won’t know –
the one who left me
was not more dear to me
than him
asking no doubt in our Tuesday meeting:
“Who?”
© Translation: 2009, Lisa Katz
The mention of the Goldberg Variations in the title, which recalls a piece by Bach, refers here to famed Hebrew poet and scholar Lea Goldberg, whose entire name appears in the translation, although she is alluded to by only her first name in the original poem.
וריאציית גולדברג – רקע לתמונת אבי
וריאציית גולדברג – רקע לתמונת אבי
לא שליו, עצבני, לא גאה
אבי -- קצת נבוך על שאתה
בלי דמעה, בחיוך, חינני חמקני
.ותמיד שואל לעצבוני
קצת תמהת, רגזת, כשטלפנתי אליך
...לילה אחד ואמרתי ככה
ומעט שיכולת ניחמת בדבריך
רק מפני שהיית פעם
אבי
.ואני עודני אני
ופחות או יותר אתה בטח זוכר
:אך את סוד ילדותי נפשך לא פותרת
עת אבוא אליך, הבת הבוגרת
.ואביא לאבי את זיוף שמחתה
.כן, אבוא רצוצה ואשאל לשלומך
...לפעמים בערבי מאהב ערבי
אך לרוב את בכיי אבכה בחיקי
!"לא אלחש לעצמי – "הו, אבי
ובלילות שיכרותי, אז אבהה בבהוני
הוכחה לכך שזה לא דמיוני
יש לנו אותן כפות רגליים)
(אבא ולי
.היום אני לאה
.אני שוכבת במיטה
."אני קוראת ספר, "זוטא
?ואתה
-- לא תדע
זה שעזבני
לא היה לי
יקר ממך
:ובפגישה ביום שלישי בטח תשאל אותי
"?מי "
© 2006, Nano Shabtai
From: The Iron Girl
Publisher: Yedioth Ahronoth and Hemed Books, Tel Aviv
From: The Iron Girl
Publisher: Yedioth Ahronoth and Hemed Books, Tel Aviv
Poems
Poems of Nano Shabtai
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GOLDBERG VARIATIONS
BACKGROUND FOR A PORTRAIT OF MY FATHER
Not quiet, jumpy, not proud a little embarrassed – my father
without tears, smiling, charming and evasive,
always asks about my nerves.
A little surprised, annoyed, when I called
one night and said such and such . . .
consoling me a little only with words because once
you were my father
but I’m still me.
More or less remembering
my childhood puzzle unsolved:
now I come, a grown daughter
bearing my fake joy.
Yes, I’m exhausted and ask how you are.
Sometimes inside my nights with my Arab lover . . .
but mostly I cry when I’m alone
and I won’t whisper “Oh Dad!” to myself
nights when I’m drunk I’ll stare at a toe
proof that it’s real
(we have
the same feet
father and me)
Today I’m tired.
I lie in bed.
I’m reading a poem by Lea Goldberg.
And you?
Won’t know –
the one who left me
was not more dear to me
than him
asking no doubt in our Tuesday meeting:
“Who?”
© 2009, Lisa Katz
From: The Iron Girl
From: The Iron Girl
The mention of the Goldberg Variations in the title, which recalls a piece by Bach, refers here to famed Hebrew poet and scholar Lea Goldberg, whose entire name appears in the translation, although she is alluded to by only her first name in the original poem.
GOLDBERG VARIATIONS
BACKGROUND FOR A PORTRAIT OF MY FATHER
Not quiet, jumpy, not proud a little embarrassed – my father
without tears, smiling, charming and evasive,
always asks about my nerves.
A little surprised, annoyed, when I called
one night and said such and such . . .
consoling me a little only with words because once
you were my father
but I’m still me.
More or less remembering
my childhood puzzle unsolved:
now I come, a grown daughter
bearing my fake joy.
Yes, I’m exhausted and ask how you are.
Sometimes inside my nights with my Arab lover . . .
but mostly I cry when I’m alone
and I won’t whisper “Oh Dad!” to myself
nights when I’m drunk I’ll stare at a toe
proof that it’s real
(we have
the same feet
father and me)
Today I’m tired.
I lie in bed.
I’m reading a poem by Lea Goldberg.
And you?
Won’t know –
the one who left me
was not more dear to me
than him
asking no doubt in our Tuesday meeting:
“Who?”
© 2009, Lisa Katz
The mention of the Goldberg Variations in the title, which recalls a piece by Bach, refers here to famed Hebrew poet and scholar Lea Goldberg, whose entire name appears in the translation, although she is alluded to by only her first name in the original poem.
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