Article
Celebrate Poetry Week in style
Out-of-office poetry
January 30, 2014
Choose your out-of-office poem below, and cut-and-paste it into your own out-of-office e-mail. It won’t make you more reachable, but it will make you more poetic. You’ll also be supporting national Poetry Day. For the sake of the creative talent behind these pieces, we kindly request that you include the name of the poet and the translator in your e-mail.
Spread the word!
Do you also find the typical out-of-office e-mails to be uninspired?
“I’m away from the office and am not currently checking my e-mail. For urgent matters . . . ”
Poets David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen, Stijn Vranken, Lies Van Gasse and Ester Naomi Perquin have whipped up a poetic alternative: out-of-office poetry. Translations by Willem Groenewegen.Choose your out-of-office poem below, and cut-and-paste it into your own out-of-office e-mail. It won’t make you more reachable, but it will make you more poetic. You’ll also be supporting national Poetry Day. For the sake of the creative talent behind these pieces, we kindly request that you include the name of the poet and the translator in your e-mail.
Spread the word!
HOW WELL I DISAPPEARED
Some people are lost all their lives,
hide in the depths of a shell
or already lay beneath a weathered stone.
And now I myself [until date x] have gone
I regret nobody saw
how well I disappeared.
[colleague X will answer your mails]
Maarten Inghels
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
assistant for absentee (m/f)
please do not panic, do not raise the alarm.
there’s no need to hand out robot pics,
they don’t do me justice.
also, there is no crime involved,
I left the ship without a struggle.
until [the date of my return]
there is no point in looking for me,
I’ve hidden in a time without alarm clocks.
as soon as I jump out again,
I will pop into your inbox as quick as I can
with a multi-coloured holiday memory.
in case of urgent need please contact
the nearest emergency service, my colleague
[with their name, the mail address and
number, be it a direct line or otherwise].
with a little luck the lightning will strike
between the both of you.
David Troch
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
Lamented person present,
Do not be afraid, I am not perfect
in my being absent, my body’s hanging
round in the air most likely, slurping
from time somewhere, not thinking of
how cruel it must be to have to
work between [leave date] and [return date]
like you, over there.
O, how I wished you elsewhere in the light
of this long day, somewhere similar where
a person is not obliged to be, but may,
as not here, I,
your absentee.
Stijn Vranken
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
My chair empty, door closed behind me
I am briefly not to be seen
but send a note to the address below
in case of messages with urgency:
[colleague’s mail address]
Joke van Leeuwen
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
I will be away until [date]
Had I been there I would have gladly provided an answer
to what you just sent and have told you a little about
the way in which heaven balances above us
like a tent without poles, since
I know a lot about this.
I would have supplied you with the necessary recipes and
not just have listed ingredients but also how an egg
can feel scared in your hand before it breaks
and how the crack on the bowl’s edge
sounds all the louder for it.
If I knew you’d suffered a life of constant ringing, with bursts
of attention, then I would have written how it can all
be always brought to rest if you just lie down
in the early morning and feel the blood
that swirls in you like water or wine.
Above all else I would have been a pleasant person. Someone
who likes to be surprised about the world and ponders
existence and has a meaningful opinion, truly
someone to add to your address list with
a bright yellow smiley beside it.
[colleague’s name] is available.
Ester Naomi Perquin
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
It isn’t that I am not here.
I’ve laid a branch out in the snow
and dug ever deeper,
time’s partitions moved
into the distance.
The wind is in my hair
and I tap shakily.
As I gather words
for better moments,
I lay my head on your shoulder,
but don’t sing to you now.
From [date] till [date]
I will chase the seaweed from your mind
and you will softly blow through me.
As I roam your night,
I leave you sleepless.
As I have for weeks
been writing from your skin.
You cannot reach me.
[Colleague] is in.
Type [colleague’s mail address]
and send your song.
[own name]
Lies van Gasse
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
Some people are lost all their lives,
hide in the depths of a shell
or already lay beneath a weathered stone.
And now I myself [until date x] have gone
I regret nobody saw
how well I disappeared.
[colleague X will answer your mails]
Maarten Inghels
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
assistant for absentee (m/f)
please do not panic, do not raise the alarm.
there’s no need to hand out robot pics,
they don’t do me justice.
also, there is no crime involved,
I left the ship without a struggle.
until [the date of my return]
there is no point in looking for me,
I’ve hidden in a time without alarm clocks.
as soon as I jump out again,
I will pop into your inbox as quick as I can
with a multi-coloured holiday memory.
in case of urgent need please contact
the nearest emergency service, my colleague
[with their name, the mail address and
number, be it a direct line or otherwise].
with a little luck the lightning will strike
between the both of you.
David Troch
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
Lamented person present,
Do not be afraid, I am not perfect
in my being absent, my body’s hanging
round in the air most likely, slurping
from time somewhere, not thinking of
how cruel it must be to have to
work between [leave date] and [return date]
like you, over there.
O, how I wished you elsewhere in the light
of this long day, somewhere similar where
a person is not obliged to be, but may,
as not here, I,
your absentee.
Stijn Vranken
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
My chair empty, door closed behind me
I am briefly not to be seen
but send a note to the address below
in case of messages with urgency:
[colleague’s mail address]
Joke van Leeuwen
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
I will be away until [date]
Had I been there I would have gladly provided an answer
to what you just sent and have told you a little about
the way in which heaven balances above us
like a tent without poles, since
I know a lot about this.
I would have supplied you with the necessary recipes and
not just have listed ingredients but also how an egg
can feel scared in your hand before it breaks
and how the crack on the bowl’s edge
sounds all the louder for it.
If I knew you’d suffered a life of constant ringing, with bursts
of attention, then I would have written how it can all
be always brought to rest if you just lie down
in the early morning and feel the blood
that swirls in you like water or wine.
Above all else I would have been a pleasant person. Someone
who likes to be surprised about the world and ponders
existence and has a meaningful opinion, truly
someone to add to your address list with
a bright yellow smiley beside it.
[colleague’s name] is available.
Ester Naomi Perquin
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
It isn’t that I am not here.
I’ve laid a branch out in the snow
and dug ever deeper,
time’s partitions moved
into the distance.
The wind is in my hair
and I tap shakily.
As I gather words
for better moments,
I lay my head on your shoulder,
but don’t sing to you now.
From [date] till [date]
I will chase the seaweed from your mind
and you will softly blow through me.
As I roam your night,
I leave you sleepless.
As I have for weeks
been writing from your skin.
You cannot reach me.
[Colleague] is in.
Type [colleague’s mail address]
and send your song.
[own name]
Lies van Gasse
translation: Willem Groenewegen
========================================================
30 January is NATIONAL POETRY DAY 2014
Support National Poetry Day and install OUT-OF-OFFICE POETRY by such poets
as David Troch, Maarten Inghels, Joke van Leeuwen,
Stijn Vranken and Ester Naomi Perquin.
Go to www.poezieweek.com and choose your out-of-office poem.
========================================================
Empty office image © BONNINSTUDIO on Shutterstock
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