Mouse

you, little uninvited pest
made your stronghold in my room
sneaking in, creeping out     never stopping to say “hello”
it was only this evening when I saw your illustrious name
listed beside that of Donald Duck on the TV     that I realized you were a movie star
that was the end of my peace of mind
there was a mouse in my room
like a lump     growing inside my body
many times I’d been to the hospital     but they’d never found anything
half a steamed bread bun had been sawn away
there were suspicious black specks in my rice
who, after all, was the culprit?
I became more cautious     ears straining to hear the slightest noise
listening to cupboards     listening to floorboards
of course, I tracked down those small but solid sounds
but I had no way of knowing for sure
whether the little runt was nibbling on my favourite clothes
or gnawing away at antiques left to me by my grandfather
you were always so light on your feet
it was almost as if you wanted to spare my feelings
my mother’s mother used to be like this
in the middle of windy nights     she would quietly get out of bed     and close all the windows
you dance on cakes     piss on tablets
the books I like are riddled with gaping wounds
but when it came to the crunch, you had no idea what made a noise     and what didn’t
so when you knocked over my chinaware     which then jumped to the ground from a great height
you triggered, much to your surprise, an earthquake
that startled me from dreams     on tip-toes
unable to fly into a rage
having to be lighter on my feet than you
I felt my way from the bed-head to the book-shelf     worried that you would hear me
like you were in the middle of writing something     not to be disturbed
but I was clumsier than you     in the end, I knocked over a chair
panicked, I looked left and right    ashamed of something, it seemed
in fact, you, you little runt, were probably already fast asleep
after a drink of milk     and a change of bedroom
hiding in your hole     eyes like a couple of black beans, twitching in your head
watching me, big and lumbering     stark naked     stripped of all poise
and learning about what I looked like at night
you kept quiet     in this you were different from your father
this quality of yours     put me in an unbearable position
I couldn’t stand it any longer     I knocked and poked at random
hell-bent on a thorough search     to arrest you     and to put you to death
but when I saw the massive articles of furniture around me
and the bunkers concealed within countless household odds and ends
frustration got the better of me    and not knowing what to do
I called off the hunt
outsiders were under the mistaken impression that I had the room to myself
that I was calm and steady     devoted to study
actually, I was a nervous wreck     I avoided going out
I’d hurry home as soon as work was over
and, once inside, start opening cupboards    and cases
checking up on that rotten bastard who always kept me guessing
to see what new tricks he’d played on me

1988

MOUSE